No, I'm not talking about the subway line, but I am talking about loss. Loss is a heavy word all on it's own; meaning the fact or process of losing something or someone. A lot of times, loss involves someone never coming back; a harsh reality in such a harsh world. But shouldn't love cushion this traumatizing blow that life deals? We all suffer losses in one way or another, but the way our friends, family and supporters get us through it can really change the game. We lose friends, jobs, things, pets, homes, kids, passions, blessings and even salvation. Losing salvation in the sense that one would go back into the world, leaving Jesus on the back burner of their life. All these things cause pain, pain that may differ from one another. But through all pain remember this, my brothers and sisters, and take advantage of its truth:
"The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit."
– Psalm 34:18 (NIV)
Earlier this month, my family suffered a loss and I felt led to write about the events that took place afterwards. A family member lost her husband and for her privacy, I've left out her name:
"On July 4th 2014, I felt
one of the biggest heartbreaks of my life.
I had gotten the news at 3:50pm.
He was gone. Though I had no
pain, I sank down in my seat and began to wonder how she was taking it. All those
years together... how was she
handling it now? I tried not to think
about it after awhile. She had yet to come home and there were
already those that needed consoling at the house.
You know? For these types of situations we tend to find
ourselves preparing an encouraging statement, reciting poetic words or even
finding some relevant scripture from God's word to help soothe the pain. But I believe you could blueprint a plan and
right when you’re about to execute this long and carefully prepared plan, the
atmosphere moves. Sometimes all that
planning and "try hard" doctrine about how to approach certain
situations, just need to be shown to the door.
In this world, there is no room for doctrine, religion, counterfeit
emotions or written scripts for everyday life.
Just look around you. Is all as
it should be? Forget what your parents,
spouse or friends ever said. Ask
yourself, "Is this right?" You don't have to watch the news to see
what's going on in every broken household in the world, just turn off the TV
and you'll see, feel and hear it all.
Some things just aren't right.
Bravo... there goes a fact of life from me to you. So now back to July 4th 2014. At this time, family who had heard the news
and were close enough to respond began to converge on the house. Everyone was running around to get the house
in order, because Lord knows what my mother would say if even the doormat
didn’t smell like Clorox. My mother and
my stepdad get home with groceries to prepare and to our surprise she wasn’t with them. We inquired of her and learned she
stayed behind at the hospice and it hurt my heart to hear that. But then again, how could she just walk out without her love of 56
years. Yeah, I know right? That’s a long
time. My longest relationship, being
next to someone all the time only lasted 365 days and at the end of it all, I
said “Bye, Felicia” (That wasn’t her name, but it’s a little comic relief. Believe me, I need all the humor possible
right now as I write this). 1959 is where this love story began, way before my
time and here I am at the end of it. The
thought is quite daunting. Finally,
there is a knock at the door. I walk to
the door and see through the window that it’s her along with other family.
I opened the door with outstretched arms as she walked into my
embrace. I told her I was sorry for her
loss, greeted the rest of the family and then walked them up the stairs. As everyone reunited and started chatting,
hugging and smiling about, I found her
silence deafening, her pain visible
and her spirit broken. I’ve seen death and sadness in many forms,
but because of how The Lord has molded my heart over the past two years, this
form of it was so much more painful for me.
You see, above all things aside from serving God to my fullest, my
biggest aspiration in life is to be a Godly husband and father; something my
mother and I didn’t have starting out in life.
Dreams of hugging and kissing my wife as my children say “ewww,
daddy!!!” and nightmares of sleeping on the couch because of a disagreement on
petty things; I long for that. But right now, I was in the presence of a dream
that had just reached its end, for now.
I walked over to her and sat
on the couch with her and she was trembling. I asked her
how she felt and she went to open her
mouth but because it trembled so much, she
just motioned “so-so” with her
hand. All the words I thought of saying,
the scriptures of healing I thought of preaching and other rituals of
consolation were rendered obsolete. All
of a sudden, the Holy Spirit came over me; I knew this because for the first
time in my life I spoke almost fluent Spanish to her. We talked about her and her late husband. She told me that June 6th
1959 was where it all began for her and
him and never leaving each other’s side since.
What a strong woman. She trembled and stumbled over her words as if they were hurdling over hurdles of pain as they came out, meanwhile I couldn’t hold my tears back. I held her
and she began to cry and I could only
feel her pain more. She
then said something very sad: “Me quede sola.” which means, “I was left alone.” in spanish. And I assured her that she was not alone, although she lost her best friend, her lover and her life companion, she
had us and The Lord and she smiled.
People around us kept saying, “Don’t talk about it with her.
You’re going to make her cry”,
but I saw that that was all she
wanted. She wanted someone to want to know her pain and cry with her, not for someone to help her
suppress it. The word of God says:
“Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.”
– Romans 12:15 (NIV)
Then Christ fulfills this scripture right before He is about to raise Lazarus from the dead. Instead of calming the mourning crowd and doing the impossible, He shows the love He had for Lazarus. Its says:
"Jesus wept."
– John 11:35 (NIV)
This scripture used to confuse me. Why did Jesus weep when He knew that He would inevitably raise him from the dead. Well this situation taught me why. She had 56 years with a good man and she didn’t just want to repress those thoughts and memories; she wanted to remember them, despite the
pain it caused to do so. And we did it
together; just as Jesus did with Lazarus' mourners. I told her that I wanted what she
had with him. To one day kiss the wrinkled
face of the woman of my dreams that God told me about a year ago. She
smiled and uttered, “Un dia.” (One day) and I smiled back. Earlier I said, “In this world, there is no
room for doctrine, religion, counterfeit emotions or written scripts for
everyday life.” I said that because with
Love, there is no room for those things.
God is Love.
“And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”
– 1 Corinthians 13:13 (NIV)"
Be strengthened and encouraged out there. For all of you that bear pains and burdens, the Lord says:
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
– Matthew 11:28-30 (NIV)
Through all things, The Lord goes before you and makes a way for you to travel safely on. Trust His guidance and have faith, for you will not be led astray. For you, who are suffering, I pray the peace of The Lord upon your spirit. Hold fast and never lose heart on account of the ways of the world. When Christ said He had overcome the world, surely it implied that things and the natural order of this world would end. Therefore, even death has an end, for it is written:
“‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.”
– Revelations 21:4 (NIV)
You are loved my friends. You have my love and encouragement, but more importantly you have the Lord's. Take on God's peace and be strong. God bless you, my brothers and sisters.
With Love and Blessings,
Cease The Messenger
